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If you are thinking how invigorating would be an occasional break free from home mundane responsibilities but you wonder… How on earth do I even start? I am rushing to tell you how to travel guilt-free without children.
Leaving your precious baby with a stranger or even a dad gives you anxiety attack? No one can look after your child better than you do. That’s a fact. And the cycle continues. Having a newborn you have heard about gentle transition on many occasions. Think about travel as a gentle transition for yourself.
Start small and close by
You don’t need to leave everyone traumatised from the get go. Go to the garden centre, treat yourself with Starbucks coffee while your baby is asleep at home. Once you can see for yourself that everyone is still alive, you can venture a little further. I remember my first lone trip very well. Initial attempt to have a proper rest. National Express trip from Manchester to Burnley that was only one and a half hour long each way. My excuse was to buy a 2nd hand stroller that fits into an aircrafts overhead compartment. Just so it happened, the nearest one was an uninterrupted 3 hours away. ‘Yeah, right’ – said Alex winking at me. He couldn’t understand why would I prefer to sit on the coach for so long rather than resting my feet at home. It’s never a rest at home – let’s admit that. Lovely, picturesque journey with a book in my hand. Again… everyone was just fine without me. Mum guilt started to ease off.
Pick a babysitter that you trust
Dad is usually the obvious choice, but if you’re not sure how he’d cope, try to align your little voyage with a visit from your mother in law. Your partner turned out alright I guess, so she could be trusted with her grandchild. Your parents, sister, anyone that has a hands on attitude towards kids will be great support for your own peace of mind.
Call in to check as often or as little you need
Obviously, you don’t want to ring every 5 minutes. Ask your sitter to call you instead, when it’s the right time at the household. You don’t need to be stressed about hearing babies cry (you left the house to avoid it), because of course they will at some point, but guess what… it might have nothing to do with you at all 🙂
Don’t go alone if you are not comfortable
It can be nerve wracking, when you imagine sitting by yourself at the restaurant, having no one to talk to, no one to explore with and share the memories of beautiful things you experience. How about starting somewhere where you can have a local guide to ease off the anxiety? What about your cousin Emma in Exeter or your uni friend that relocated to Edinburgh? Does any of your mum friends from the local playgroup look like she could be approached for a mum getaway? Being social again is a perfect boost to your mental well-being. It’s a win- win!
It’s hard to look at your partner’s face after he has just been snoring away through your baby night wakings – I know, but maybe you could consider taking him with you? Involved, non-toxic, zero entitlement grandparents are a luxury. If you are blessed with a set from this lovely generation, eager to be around your kids – use it to your and your children’s advantage. Worth trying to rekindle some magic with your spouse.
Choose safe destinations for solo female travellers
Your safety is paramount. You don’t only have yourself to protect but your kids mother – which is you again. Whenever you are, be vigilant, try to blend into the crowd of locals, do not stand out as an easy target to anyone! Travel insurance, life insurance, GHIC card, e-sim card – basics. You cannot travel guilt-free without these essentials!
Last and foremost, think about how the journey you are going through will impact your children. Your emotional and mental state has a tremendous influence into their well-being. I urge you to become invested in being the healthiest version of yourself and combat any guilt that comes up around self-care. Next time you’re on the aircraft and listen to safety procedures, pay particular attention to the one about life vest procedure. You put one on yourself first, then your children. You cannot be the best mother to your kids if you are not capable of being kind, loving and empathetic human to yourself!
